Thursday, December 9, 2010
Why are you so sad
Excuse me for prying
Didn't mean to make you mad
But first may I compliment you on the shoes
Girl they are bad
I'm just curious to know
What angers your soul
Why do you look so mean
When it seems you have everything
Your kind of class and your radiant smile
Your intellegent mind and phenomonal style
Oh I wouldn't understand... well just give it a try
Maybe i experienced my journey just to become your alibi
Did you pick and choose, blind to the rules and never looking back
Stopped all your fun, no longer a nun, even dropped your childish acts
He became your priority you became the minority and things just didn't make sense
Momma said No they ll be plenty mo but you were just convinced
No time for self got someone else's life to make a joy
Rushing and running, pushing and shoving got to get to lover boy
Things start to turn and you re not happy but he have no concern
Don't quite understand this couldn't be the man that makes your feelings burn
Well nobodies perfect
I just need to work with him
After all he knows no better
You know his mother wasn't there
And his father didn't care
So I just want him to know that I'm here
You call his phone
The rings seems long as curiosity ruptures in your belly
Oh he must be busy
Your thoughts get dizzy as you begin to pray
Lord please forgive me
I love him dearly
But need you to show me the way
I try to be there, I rub his hair and ask about his day
Maybe its me I can lose some weight and watch the things I say
Then maybe he'll love me and do something lovely like send some flowers my way
He has the potential if only he can do the things I know he's capable of
As life goes on I lived and learned that its impossible to force love
Miss Lady the man that's in your mind, is not the one that's in your face
It's not you who needs to change but it's him that needs to be replaced....
Ms. Analytical ~~~
Friday, June 18, 2010
SO GRACEFULLY AND STILL
WAKING ME UP, STARTING ME OFF, ENCOURAGING ME TO DO HIS WILL
I TALK TO HIM SOMETIMES AND ASK HIM TO LEAD MY WAY
BUT WHILE I'M STANDING IN THE MIRROR I CAN ONLY SEE MY FACE
WHO IS THIS MAN THAT CONSOLES MY INNER BEING
I'M HEARING HIM, I'M FEELING HIM, BUT YET HE IS UNSEEN
I'VE ASKED HIM FOR THINGS AND SOMETIMES HE DELIVERS RIGHT AWAY
I'VE SHARED DEEP MOMENTS WITH HIM I TRUST HIM TO NEVER SAY
WHO IS THIS MAN THAT MY SPIRIT SEEMS TO THIRST AFTER
THINKING ABOUT HIM, BEING AROUND HIM, WANTING TO BE CAPTURED
HOW IS IT THAT HE LOVES ME AND WHY AM I HIS CHOICE
HE WAS THE ONE THERE THAT NIGHT WHEN I CRIED OUT IN A LOUD VOICE
WHO IS THIS MAN THAT FORGIVES ME WHEN I'M WRONG
WHO CARES FOR ME, GENUINELY, AND GIVES MY SPIRIT A SONG
WHEN MY HEART IS FULL OF SORROW, HE REMINDS ME ABOUT TOMORROW
WHEN LIFE KICKS ME DOWN HE REMINDS ME OF HIS CROWN
WHO IS THIS MAN WHO PROTECTS ME WHEN I MAKE FOOLISH DECISIONS
WHO FIGHTS FOR ME AND GIVES ME PEACE AT NIGHT WHEN I'M ASLEEP
I CAN FEEL HIS PRESENCE FLOATING AROUND ME
I CAN ALMOST TASTE AND TOUCH HIM BUT STILL COULDN'T SEE
I KNOW HE'S A BEAUTIFUL MAN AND I NEVER SEEN HIS FACE
CAN EVEN TELL HE IS WORTHY AND NEVER BEEN IN HIS PLACE
WHO IS THIS MAN THAT I WANT TO GROW WITH AND HAVE NOT SEEN HIS EYES
NEITHER HIS HAIR NOR HIS LIPS, WHERE DOES HIS SECRET LIES........
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
You learn nothing....
When you recognize that you need to be taught...
You gain knowledge and wisdom...
When you go through life not being aware of who you are...
You do not realize your capabilities...
When you're not sure of yourself...
You become afraid to speak up...
When you put high expectation on anyone but God...
They fail you...
Be glad when people pay attention to your life...
It's when you are being ignored to worry...
Have faith and confidence in yourself....
So you won't depend on others for whom they are...Knowing your worth at heart before combining you spirit with another....
If you are not aware of what you want...
You put up with what you got...
If your mate is to be an image of you...
Then push yourself to your highest standards and stay there...
Getting by is boring...
Earning your title, friends and respect is challenging...
Loving somebody is wonderful...
Having them love you back is priceless...
Having a purpose in life to fufill means that God is ahead of your life...
Living life without a purpose means the devil is on your tail.....
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Then I woke up and remembered..... I asked God to show me what's to come of this relationship between me and this guy and that's just what he did. Be careful who you expose your heart to.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
I KNEW DEEP DOWN SOMETHINGS JUST WEREN'T RIGHT BUT GAVE UP MY FIGHT AT ONE POINT, ONLY TO KEEP THE THINGS THAT WAS CONSTANTLY BREAKING ME.(SMH) I AM GLAD FOR CONVICTION OF THE SPRIT BECAUSE IF IT HAD NOT BEEN FOR THAT I DON'T KNOW WHERE I WOULD BE. IT'S FUNNY HOW PEOPLE WILL DO CERTAIN THINGS TO YOU OR AROUND YOU BUT ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT WITH THE NEXT PERSON. TALK A DIFFERENT WAY, WALK A DIFFERENT WAY, HANDLE THINGS DIFFERENTLY. YOU HAPPEN TO NOTICE IT AND SAY IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND "WHERE DID THAT COME FROM I BEEN TRYING TO GET THEM TO DO THAT FOREVER", AND HERE THIS PERSON COME AND DON'T EVEN HAVE TO ASK AND THEY GOT IT TOGETHER.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE WITH US? STRUCTURE, BOUNDARIES, PEOPLE WILL ONLY DO WHAT YOU ALLOW THEM TO DO TO YOU. IT IS UP TO ME TO HAVE BOUNDARIES FOR MY SELF, TO PROTECT MY SPIRIT, MY FEELING, MY THOUGHTS. TO BE ABLE TO UPHOLD MY SELF IN THE POSITION I WANT TO BE IN. I HAVE TO FIGHT FOR HAPPINESS FOR PEACE AND WHEN GOD GIVES IT TO ME. I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO HOLD ON TO IT CAUSE WITH OUT IT IT'S HARD FOR ME TO MAKE IT. WHEN I ALLOW PEOPLE TO COME IN AND RAIN ON MY JOY, THEN GO ON ABOUT THEIR LIFE, I HAVE TO CONSTANTLY GO BACK TO GOD AND ASK HIM FOR THAT PEACE AGAIN, THAT JOY CAUSE I CAN'T FUNCTION. AND YET THE PERSON I ALLOWED TO COME IN AND STEAL MY JOY IS ON TO THE NEXT ONE. I NEED STRUCTURE I NEED BOUNDARIES FOR ME.
THE WAY I'M FEELING DETERMINES THE SETTING OF MY DAY. IF I AM NOT HAPPY OR CONTENT WHERE I AM AT, IT'S EASY TO INFLUENCE ME TO DO THINGS. TAKE THE EASY ROUTE OUT. GODS ALWAYS REMINDS ME THAT I DON'T WANT THAT. I REALIZED THAT IF YOU DON'T HELP YOURSELF AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT FOR YOU TO FUNCTION AND FIGHT YOUR DAILY BATLLES, YOU CAN'T HELP NO ONE ELSE. GOD SAYS THE DO'S AND DON'T'S FOR A REASONS. DONT ALLOW THE EYE TO EXPOSE ANYTHING TO THE MIND, ESPECIALLY THINGS THAT'S REALLY NOT GOOD FOR YOU. SOMETIMES I NEED TO SAY I DON'T MEAN NO HARM BUT I DON'T NEED TO SEE THIS,I DON'T NEED TO HEAR THIS. SOMETIMES I HAVE TO PUSH PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE WHO DOESN'T MEAN ANY GOOD BY ME. EVEN THE ONES I LOVE, I HAVE TO LOVE THEM FROM A DISTANCE.
WHY DO I NEED BOUNDARIES FOR SELF? I DO BECAUSE I NEED PROTECT MY SPIRIT, SO THAT IT CAN BE STRONG ENOUGH TO GUIDE MY FLESH. I CAN'T CONTINUE TO LET THE devil USE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE TO MANIPULATE MY THOUGHTS. YOU MAY NOT NOTICE RIGHT NOW, BUT EVER TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR SELF WHEN YOU'RE FEELING HAPPY. ME PERSONALLY, I SMILE GENUINELY, I SAY NICE THINGS, MY PATIENCE GROWS, I DO NICE THINGS FOR PEOPLE. I FEEL GREAT MY BODY FEELS ALIVE. WHEN I AM NOT HAPPY, I DO THINGS TO HURT MYSELF AND NOT EVEN NOTICE. I LET PEOPLE SAY ANYTHING TO ME, I TEND TO PUT UP WITH NEGATIVITY, I OVER EAT, I DRINK HEAVILY, I TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, YELL AT KYRA (MY DAUGHTER) ,I'M FULL OF FRUSTRATION. MY PATIENCE DECREASE AND I SLEEP A LOT AND STILL WAKE UP TIRED, ABUSING MY SELF AND NOT EVEN REALIZING IT.
I THEN GO TO GOD AND CONFESS AND HE RENEWS MY SPIRT. (THANK YOU GOD). I GET TIRED THOUGH OF SITTING DOWN LIKE A PUNK FOR THE devil AND ALLOWING HIM TO USE PEOPLE TO ABUSE MY SPIRIT, RAPE MY FLESH, AND STEAL MY JOY. I STARTED SETTING BOUNDARIES FOR MY SELF NOT TO GET LOST IN SIN. A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THEY CAN HANDLE EVERYTHING ON THEIR OWN, SAYING I WILL NEVER BE A HYPE OR I WILL NEVER END UP LIKE HIM OR HER. THE TRUTH IS IF YOU DON'T START CONTROLLING YOU ACTIONS AND THE THINGS THAT YOU EXPOSE TO THE MIND NOW, YOU CAN VERY WELL BE JUST LIKE THAT PERSON. DID YOU THINK THEY KNEW THEY WERE GOING TO END UP THAT WAY. THEY PROBABLY TRIED IT ONE TIME AND IT FELT SO GOOD TO THE BODY THAT THEY CAN'T STOP WANTING IT NOW. THEY KNOW IT'S NOT GOOD FOR THEM. THEY KNEW IT WAS BEFORE THEY TRIED IT BUT SOME HOW THEY THOUGHT THEY HAD CONTROL. I MEAN THAT GOES FOR ANYTHING, DRUGS, FOOD, LIQUOR , SEX, CIGARETTES, GOSSIP, LUST, CANDY, GAMBLING, THROWING UP YOUR FOOD. ANYTHING.
THE devil IS A LIAR. HE COMES TO KILL ,STEAL AND DESTROY. KILL YOU RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, STEAL YOUR JOY FROM THE SPIRIT, AND DESTROY YOUR SOUL. DO YOU THINK IF YOU ARE HAPPY, YOU WOULD CHANGE YOUR WAYS... NO THAT'S WHY HE HAVE TO TAKE THAT HAPPINESS AWAY TO MAKE THE SPIRIT WEAK. I USE TO FALL FOR IT A LOT. I KNOW NOW THOUGH, I HAVE TO SET BOUNDARIES FOR MY SELF TO KEEP ME FROM FALLING IN THE devil's DITCH. IT'S EASIER SAID THEN DONE BUT WHEN YOUR MIND IS MADE UP AND YOURE TIRED OF PEOPLE RAINING ON YOUR PARADE, PULLING YOU OFF YOUR SQUARE, AND HURTING YOUR EELINGS. YOU'LL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER TO KEEP YOUR LIFE TOGETHER. AND HOPE THAT THEY GET THERES TOGETHER.
YOU KNOW I LOOK AT MYSELF AND OTHERS SOMETIMES. IT'S LIKE A LOOSE, LOOSE SITUATION FOR ME TO TRY TO PLAY IN THE devil's COURT YARD WITH A SPIRIT OF GOD. I DON'T BELONG THERE, THERES NO TRUE LOVE TO RECIPROCATE THERE, THERE IS NO FAITH, THERE'S NO HOPE, NO TRUTH. HOW DO I PLAN TO MAKE IT THERE IT'S LIKE BEING AN HONEST GANGBANGER OR A SINNER WITH MANNERS. IT JUST DON'T WORK. I CAN'T SERVE TWO MASTERS. OR CONNECT WITH PEOPLE WHO AREN'T ON THE SAME PAGE AS ME. IT'S BAD INFLUENCE, TOO COMFORTABLE FOR ME TO SIN. BOUNDARIES ARE NEEDED TO KEEP THE devil OUT OF MY LIFE. TO KEEP GROWING EVIL SPIRITS OFF OF MY BACK, TO KEEP MY SPIRIT FUNCTIONING, HAPPY AND CLEAN. I LOVE SMILING DAILY BEING ABLE TO REFLECT ON THE THINGS THAT GOD PROVIDES IN MY LIFE. TRUE JOY, THERE JUST BECAUSE GOD SITS ON THE THORNE. NOTHING SPECTACULAR HAD TO HAPPEN, I'M NOT SMILING BECAUSE I GOT A CHECK OR MY BOYFRIEND WAS OVER LAST NIGHT BUT THAT JOY YOU HAVE JUST BECAUSE GOD STILL SITS ON THE THRONE. IMAGINE THAT!!!!!